This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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