I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
