i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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