you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize