gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
