You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
