I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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