This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
