If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize