No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
