OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
