im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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