Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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