It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
