Where did you get a picture of my penis
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
