dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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