She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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