This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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