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I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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