this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
