Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
farters have to be the big spoon...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
