question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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