That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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