Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
