I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
