I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
