I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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