eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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