It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
