Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize