I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize