can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
