Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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