Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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