new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
