There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
