WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
