so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
