The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize