This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
