Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
