I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
