oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
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