Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
