just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
