Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
