I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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