If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
