Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
