Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
