trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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