Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
