You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
