That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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