whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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