I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
