Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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