There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My breath smells like gin and sadness
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
