who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
