If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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